Tuesday, June 30, 2009

When did today become yesterday?

I've come to a conclusion. It's one that many before me have reached, and I'm just a little slow to the party. And what is this grand epiphany? It's two-fold:

1) I have an addictive personality--to chocolate, screaming dill Pringles chips, books (I have at least 45 unread ones sitting on my shelf waiting to be read and all I want to do is run to Borders right now to use my coupon), blogs (they are like cocaine ... or at least they're like what I think cocaine is probably like), refreshing my email, social networking/online activities in general, etc.

2) There are not enough hours in the day to satisfy my addictions. The chocolate and the dill pickle chips I can manage (unfortunately) without too much time lost. (Now, the gym visit that should accompany such caloric consumption is another thing entirely.) The book buying (and shopping in general, if I'm being honest), typically only affects one or two days of my week. But the rest of the stuff, the things that I do on my lifeline ... er, I mean my laptop? Yeah, not so much. I sit down to "just check my email and browse the blogs," and BAM! It's two hours later and I'm almost late for work, or it's the next morning already and I have to wake up in 3 hours.

Right about here is where it seems appropriate to say, Hi, my name's Jessica, and I'm an addict." I've decided to put myself on some sort of restriction, so that I can get a few other things done--like work, writing, and finishing up our house. But the thing is, falling off the wagon is a legitimate possibility for me. Maybe I should get a sponsor? You know, someone to yank my laptop out of my death grip arms when I'm covered in sweat and convulsing on the floor and in need of just one more little hit.

Either that, or I need to talk to the time gods. Get a couple extra hours shoved in each day so that I can get things done that I need (and many times want) to get done. Or perhaps I just need a light dusting of time freezing ability ... Hmm. I think I may have something. *off to find the magical time fairies*


Lisa and Laura said...

My current addictions include:

1. Blogs

2. Refreshing e-mail

3. Refreshing stat counter

4. Twizzlers

When I think of these 4 things I feel like I'm channeling Jake Gyllenhal in Brokeback Mountain.

"I just can't quit you!"

Jamie D. said...

All together now: "Hi Jessica!"

Um...me too. Far too many addictions to list. But I call them "interests" to make them sound more socially acceptable. Yes, caffeine is really something I'm very interested in! :-)

So if you could get going on that time-freezing/more hours in the day thing, that would be great, m'kay?

jessjordan said...

Whew ... glad I'm not alone at my addicts meeting!

I'm still working on time freezing. Maybe I can create a new character to help me out with that one ...

ElanaJ said...

Oh, I'm a total addict. Blogs, forums, chocolate, those fried onion things you put on green bean casserole. Oh, man. I gotta go. :)

Abby said...

My list of addictions is remarkably similar to Lisa and Laura's, but while I do love Twizzlers, I think that would be bumped by Dr. Pepper. It's like crack to me.

If you find those magical time fairies, can you catch one for me? I need like 5 or 6 more hours in each day. That's all. :)

jessjordan said...

Elana: You are evil. Now I want chocolate and those fried onion thingies. Sigh ...

Abby: My goal is to catch a couple of the magical time fairies and let them mate like bunnies. Then everyone will want to be friends with me and I'll be popular and I'll rule the world and ... wait, huh? What I meant was, "Sure, Abby! I'll send them your way." :)

Little Ms J said...

Oh funny! First, do you watch Chelsea Lately because one little comment you made was totally Chelsea. Yes, I'm ashamed to say I follow her on Twitter.

Oh God, I just admitted that I Tweet.

So, I guess that is the jump off of my addictions, although Twitter is not first - They are:

Refreshing email (I'm talking as soon as my alarm rings I pull my cell phone under the covers to see if an agent has emailed me all while keeping my left eye closed. Helps me see better. Apparently my right eye is my "morning eye." Woah.. that sounds gross.)

Blogger - Enough said.

Twitter - I want followers! I need traffic on my blog! I need.. I need... I need.

I need Starbucks. That's next.

Then Tacos. Seriously, I could eat tacos every single day.

I'll just end on this note - I've been working on a Toblerone bar out of my purse for the past week. I want to pat myself on the back that I've only bit off a piece at a time, but really? What am I doing?

Angela said...

You are a funny gal, yanno? LOLOL

jessjordan said...

Ms J - nope, no Chelsea for me. But I think I'm missing out, b/c she looks really f'ing hilarious. Don't be ashamed--I'd follow her too if I used Twitter. I still can't bring myself to use statements like "if I tweeted." It just sounds like something you'd teach a little kid to say about gross bodily functions. Like, "Little Jimmy, don't tweet in front of our guests!" Or, "Suzie, it's not polite when little girls tweet."

I love the "I check my email with one eye closed" bit. It made me laugh, b/c I do the same thing on my computer at night when I'm exhausted but unwilling to put out the cigarette for the night. At least you have one morning eye. I have none. I hate mornings.

And OMFG, give me the rest of that Toblerone bar! But seriously, if it was in my purse, I couldn't NOT think about eating it. That's how addicted I am to chocolate. I could be stomach-exploding full, and I'd still try to make chocolate fit in there somewhere. I need an intervention. Sigh ...

Angela: I think I'm more delirious/headless chicken than funny, but thanks! You are pretty stinking funny yourself, yanno? :)